Sometimes life is messy. Especially if you live with one husband and two teenaged boys. Sometimes the mess belongs to them and sometimes the mess belongs to me. The piles of shoes, books and laundry that inhabit my days are a reminder that life is not about perfection. These are the things I think about. Pardon the mess.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Kitchen Table

The best kind of kitchen table is an old one. Preferably round and made of solid wood. One that can be made to accommodate a large crowd when needed by adding a board or two. One that creaks when you lean on it.  One that needs refinishing.  

 Things of great importance happen at the kitchen table.  At get togethers in my fathers family the men ate first, the children second and the women ate last. It would be easy to have a feminist fit over this arrangement but I have come to realize that it was their preference.  The women chose to eat last so they could linger at the table.  Sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of sweet tea in hand and a full stomach lends itself to some wonderful things.  It is easier and more comfortable to speak, share, confess, question, laugh, cry, pray and love at this sacred place.  

Growing up our kitchen table was filled every night with my mothers wonderful food and the chairs filled with all four members of our family (and quite often an extra or two).  It was necessary to gather at the end of the day, hold hands, give thanks and share a meal together. There was no reading at the table, no arguing at the table and much to my dismay no singing at the table. It was a time for talking, connecting and most often a place of great laughter.

In the early morning our table was the place where my parents came together and talked about plans for the day. I seldom ate breakfast without my father's open bible on the table across from me. Although I was never privy to these meetings, I know they always included prayer.

During the day and often late at night our table was the place where my father wrote sermons, journaled his thoughts and prayers, or graded papers.  When my mother was a child, she did her homework on that very same table when it lived at her grandparents house.

When the table came to live with me, its corners were chewed on by my boys as they were teething.  Spelling words were learned and forts were built beneath its shelter.  Hands were held and prayers were said. When we moved to a different house, the table was sent to the basement where it was used to feed teenagers and hold the Thanksgiving overflow of family and friends. It is now a holder of pizza boxes, jackets, guitars, picks and notebooks filled with song lyrics.  All in all, not a bad life.  I am hoping that it will live with my grandchildren some day and their teeth marks will be added to the edges and their laughter and prayers will be soaked into its grain.

4 comments:

SAS said...

Beautiful reflection. It's been a real blessing for me to live with the kind folks I stay with. Eating at the table several times a week has allowed me to feel more a part of a family than I ever have before. While thinking about moving out in May and making lists of things I will need, a kitchen table is currently at the top of my list.

gahender said...

Your meals sound like the meals that I was priviledged to be part of when I was little... We held hands and thanked God for everything before we even thought about picking up our forks! Oh, how I loved those simple times... This one touched my heart...

Anonymous said...

Oh Patti...I love this. I agree, the kitchen table, the dining room table, any table where you can gather with your family is sacred ground. The stories, the intimacy of a prayer said in partnership around a bowl of soup is priceless. All Hail the family MEAL!

Elizabeth said...

Today something caught my eye when I was looking through one of my favorite books, "The Art of Simple Food," by Alice Waters. One of her "principles of a delicious revolution" is this:

"Eat together: No matter how modest the meal, create a special place to sit down together, and set the table with care and respect. Savor the ritual of the table. Mealtime is a time for empathy and generosity, a time to nourish and communicate."

Thought you'd appreciate that, my thoughtful friend.